Pixie so owns that sarcasm badge

Pigtailed ingenue manning
the table at the exit of
Stop and Shop.
"Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?"
she piped at me.
"No Thank You" I replied.
To my back she shot
"Thank You for supporting
girl scouts of America
anyway"

Good work day

When my lunch
sandwich is saved till
noon.

Sisyphus

One of the spirits returned,
which ever was the most seductive,
and abandoned him back to
the way Scrooge had been.
This was the worst because
Scrooge now knew what he
was missing.
There were no spirits to redeem him,
just Scrooge to push that boulder
up the mountain
for many years after.

Nothing moves the auction along...

Like some 8th grade eye candy.

Sometimes, just like this.

We had said good bye
and exchanged hugs.
I was stopped at the door with
a question
and then he said
"Wait a sec, give me
another hug".

Golden silence

Stretched between us,
holding us gently in the arms
of quiet harmony
only to be broken at
the very end
with the remonstration
"Its been nice talking to you"

On NPR Morning Edition

Pigs are a member of the
order Artiodactyla
(....pause....)
Even-toed ungulate
(...pause...)
Go look it up.

It was a joke...

If protested from my lips
means its already
to late and I am
screwed.

Robins freaking out.

I could hear them through
the plate glass of Suite111
at the Lexington Corporate Center.
About 5 minutes later a
Red Tail hawk makes
a double pass through the
court yard. Looked like
he went away empty clawed.

Only on WGBH

Would you hear a host
describe a piece of music
that had just been played
as
"The musicians had the audience
eating out of their hands
with that toe tapper
from the 16th century"

Unusual sightings on or around Springs Road

1) I have seen twice now an old man walking backwards (butt forward) up the road.

2) A teenager has something hidden behind stone wall across the street. I have seen him twice stand stone still until there are no cars and then he leaps into the woods. Once I saw him place a clear container of a medium brown liquid behind the wall.

3) There is a guy across the street from me who has covered, I mean hundreds, of bumper stickers on his white Taurus. I can not read them because he parks way up in his driveway. Last night when leaving Stop and Shop at around 8:30pm, way out in the empty parking lot, the car was parked and he was seated on the cement applying another bumper sticker.

Fire Alarm Testing

Here at the Lexington Corporate Center
is anything
really burnt
during the test?

Christmas

The supply closet at work
is a wonderland of
practical gifts.
Paper,
Pencils,
Pens,
Post it Notes,
and one big
honking printer/copier
for those who have been
very good this year.

Stand back, I am a professional.

His deft DBA knowledge
brought out
a girlish laugh
when answering
her question
about sql server.

Sandal shots

The staccato snaps
of her sandals
as she walked
down the hall
brought relief
when not entering
my cube.

Fuckin heat shields.

Header.
Manifold.
Up pipe.
Twin scroll turbo.
Down pipe.
Center pipe.
Mufflers.
Intercooler.
Flash the ECU.
Grin like a wild man!

Robots vs People in space.

R. says:
I can think of one thing people can do in space that robots can't.

M. says:
Was this thing in a james bond movie?

R. says:
That or a James Kirk episode on Start Trek.

M. says:
So robots can't be really bad actors? That's it?

Can you hear me now?

Discussion between two co-workers:

J. said "Your not listening to me."
M. replied "Well then your not listening to me"
J. said "I have told you three times now"

ITEM

I have found that
melding the sliver
of old bar with
the new bar
is very easy with
Dial soap.

WTF

When a woman refers
to herself as
"I don't consider myself a feminist by any means"
what exactly does that mean?
"I'll accept less pay for the same job?"
"I'll accept not being able to vote?"
"I'll let other people tell me how to dress?"
"I'll relinquish control of my body?"
or
"I'll accept people telling me who to demonize?"

Yum Sunday 9/13/2009

Coffee,
Blueberry and Lemon Muffin,
Salt and Vinegar chips (WISE brand),
Roadside wild tart grapes,
that grow like kudzu,
and are served like Communion,
carrots in the rice,
garlic in the beans,
goat cheese and almonds
on the spinach.

Clay I'm not.

For ages,
with a speed slower
than the most gentle snow,
I sank to the bottom
of the tea colored
Acoaxet pond,
to hold the tethers
of lily pads,
whispered to by the rushes,
and
to be gratefully disturbed
by a boy and his dog.

Dog test.

Flat on his back
stomach being scratched
eyes closed in bliss.

Lets do a test.
I'll keep scratching
and you quietly get up
and walk away.

Eyes open and
neck twists to follow
until out of site
and then a quick glance at
me and up he gets
and saunters off to make
sure everything is under
control.

RickWood82 (9:39:46 AM): how ya doin?

richardwood401 (9:40:21 AM): brb

richardwood401 (9:56:34 AM): dandy! how was your suit shopping?

RickWood82 (9:56:52 AM): good... we were there until the mall closed

richardwood401 (9:58:09 AM): boy, talk about 2 opposing ideas in one sentence!

Bad milk

Make a nice big cup
of coffee in the morning
and when adding the milk
seeing that
it has gone bad.

RickWood82 (2:55:38 PM): what made you think of that?

richardwood401 (2:57:24 PM): I don't know, maybe a neutrino impinged on a synapse which knocked loose an electron that fell in my lap.

Feedback Loop

There has to be a way
to collapse chaos
to a
vector
without having to
introduce a gravitational
field emanating from
a biological mass.

Glad to get to work

Leave home in
morning without a cup
of coffee and make a beeline
for the coffee room.

Sun Glass Dance

Their wedding will have everything
money can buy
but money can't buy
the sun glass dance.

What I did at the top of the water fall

I attempted murder by
squeezing the heart
into the throat of a keen observer.

I put scales on the eyes of a gaggle
of brown shirted teenage lemmings.

I gathered my arms around a
squirming wild bikini.

I was Five-Oed by a
hag on a cell phone.

How to prepare for afternoon staff meeting?

5.5 ounces of espresso,
one envelope nestles hot
chocolate mix!

Fathers day 2009

The bounce of the summer solstice
sent me into the world to
experience the trust and love of
my sons, and the gentle, patient kindness
of my Dad, the pain of a family
member's relationship gone awry.

This is how the world ends: not with a bang, but with a zookeeper, murmuring, "Oh, crap."

Inane nattering overheard at office:

Person 1 says "We will just keep plugging away"

Person 2 responds "That's all you can do"

Coughy McHacksalot used my computer today.
If I get sick I am staying
out a whole week!

Old sins are the best sins.

It is so weird to me
that time,
which is rigidly tied to the
speed of light
and mass
can be experienced so
differently one
day to the next.

First day this year
walking to work
without a coat.
Thanks Gaia!

Hundreds of those maple leaf helicopter
seeds have sprouted and taken root
in the courtyard of
Lexington Corporate Center
causing them to stand straight up
a couple of inches tall.

While bullshitting about my up coming vacation in New Mexico,
Narsi asked me if I was going to 4 corners.
I said no as that was north and everything else
I was doing was south.
He then said he always wanted to go there
and put one limb in each of the 4 states
and then mimed what he would look like.

ITEM: Derriere found repulsive.

Your butt is not touching the chair!

The electron shells of the atoms
in your chair
repulse the electron shells of the atoms
in your butt
causing a gap of
1.0 × 10^-10 meters
to exists between you and the chair.

Spring can not be far away
when the
winter dog turds
blossom.

"I don't want to be a buzz kill
guys but its time for my
meds and I want to go to bed"

A late winter snow covered the bike path
with a one or two inch 24 hour story.
Tracks showed people doing silly walks,
walking their dogs,
which side paths or yards they
entered and left.
Deer leaving their notched vee shaped
marks pointing in the direction they
were traveling.
All sorts of small animal prints
in different configurations.
A dog, either out of joy or necessity,
rolling and rubbing.

"I can get the answer
for you faster
if you don't stand there
looking
over my shoulder."

"OK I am walking away."

I've been dancing in a lesbian bar.
No I haven't.

I just heard my name
used
by a co-worker
in a lame
analogy.

I like to lay with my feet pointing east
so that before sleep
I can see where I am
going.

Overheard at the office
their voice taking on
a
lower
register

"Business rule my ass"

Morning sound inventory.

1) Coffee Maker clucking.
2) Refrigerator humming.
3) Aquarium gurgling.
4) Cars hissing.
5) Bus grumbling.
6) Planes buzzing.
7) Jaw popping (when I yawn).
8) Crows admonishing.
9) Unknown cheeping.
10) Baseboards clicking.

Like a northern grizzly bear
I have started to hibernate,
turning the heat way down,
going to bed early under
a pile of warm blankets,
finding my dreams
mixing in with my
waking contemplations.

In a shocking case of cubical comeuppance Abigail shows no respect for her elder and disguises my cube as the Boston Globe. This led to a vigorous fist shaking and rumination of what would have happened to this irksome whippersnapper back in my day.
The worst part was it took me 3 hours to free myself leading to my Ensure getting warm!

New National Geographic in the bathroom,
cookies for lunch,
DTV conversion delayed.
Thanks Dad

And M.L. came down from
the mountain with
three new commandments.

11-Don't take the kitchen utensils.
12-Respect the sacristy schedule.
13-Be kind.

If these are not obeyed you
will be smote by your children
getting inferior teachers
in middle school.

Dreams

I dream that I am at my Dad's house
as an adult
however
the house was like when I was a little
kid with no extension, garage and with
a small wisteria tree in the front yard.

His dreams are of the bakery where
he is working and his dad is there
standing silently.

Happy National Renewal and Reconciliation Day, 2009 !!!

01-20-2009

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death, The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies, We, the people, must redeem The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers. The mountains and the endless plain-- All, all the stretch of these great green states-- And make America again!

---Langston Hughes---

Office Stag Beetle

There is a few inches of snow
outside my window at work.
The surface is frozen,
and gently pocked
like the pores of my skin
viewed close up.
Grass and sticks
poking through like stray
hairs.

Ladies, hide your daughters !


Thanks Marcy!

Small, Mike says (2:29 PM):
Comedian Richard Jeni mocked the song's title. "You're in the desert," he said. "You got nothing else to do. Name the freakin' horse!" -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Horse_with_No_Name