Life is complicated

End of August brings a 3 month software engineering gig.Good to see "working Rick" back on the council of Ricks. Just need to make sure I dont unfairly burden him with all the lifting of a complete life.

Duralast EGR valve from Autozone W00t, W00t !

My wants exceed my needs.

In style.

This is camping. I am at a KOA in Hagerstown Maryland, got electricity on the site so am using my electric blanket.  Thanks Obama!

Late start

Long slow start with news of the election coming from Than while I was making breakfast. Lots of discussion.  Lite rain first thing however steadily increasing. The Deleware river kept rolling by, didn't seem concerned with the crushing news. Rain clouds slowly rolled down the nearby hills. Felt the need to put on some miles so just headed for route 81 and drove south. In a KOA in Hagerstown Maryland for the night. Got electricity so I can plug in my electric blanket. Old man likes to stay warm.

Worthington State forest campground

Campsite is 100 hundred feet from and overlooking the Deleware river. After dusk a flock of geese landed on the river with a splash honking there way in. 5:50 pm and it is pitch black with the exception of the half moon shining through some high clouds. Only one other camper in the campground. Many big beech trees with thier leaves a golden brown on this warm autumn night.

Getting ready for first retirement pilgrimage.

Lake Sebago 2015

https://goo.gl/photos/Xgh5QnhFDcqjtvK99

October 9th at the counter of the Hill Top Restaurant (Breakfast served all day!)

Guy: Are you here for the fair?
Me: What fair?
Guy: Fryeburg fair.
Me: Nope, just camping here at the state park. Are you going?
Guy: Nope, going to the fair is like going to the Mall at christmas. Besides I live around here and I know what cows and pigs look like.
Me: I hear that they are pretty special cows and pigs.
Guy: Right, the cows moo ribbons!

Pee dream

I had to pee really bad and I am looking all over for a bathroom. I find a sole stall in an empty lot in some non descript neighborhood. The walls of the toilet stall are so high off the ground they afford no privacy.The toilet if filthy and clogged but I have to go really bad so decide to use it.

Just as I start 2 kids, as only I can describe as street urchins out of a Dickens novel, come by and are hanging out. Ignoring me but not quite ignoring me.

When I finish they approach me and I definitely feel threatened. I try to mollify them by telling them I had to go to a meeting at work but I could stop and buy them some soda on the way. One of the kids is very interested that I am going to a meeting and wants to attend with me.

The dream ends with me trying to figure out out to explain this at work.

Ricky, Michelle and Pop.

Lucky husband.

MBTA Commuter rail phone tickets.

I activate them all the time now. Cleaning my bowl.

Four men

One - sitting on the steps of St. Andrews episcopal church intently studying a box of a Stoffers frozen dinner.
Two - at Ayer train station scratching off his lottery tickets. Later rode his bike away before the train arrived.
Three - bicycle paint can guy, again with a paint can, however this time wearing white painter bib overalls.
Four - train conductor miming a rabbit running away from a California wild fire.

Quantum limbs

My legs divide the infinite number of points between the train station and work into a finite number of steps. Now if I can only get them to divide by zero.

Overheard on train.

Passenger : Stop and Shop used to have their own standalone bakery stores.
Conductor : I can't believe I didn't know that, but you know my wife does all the shopping.

Man with a one gallon paint can

Looped over the handle bar of his bike.

Kendall Green train station curmudgeon #3

Hoo boy

To wish a man dead.

Shoe me.

This

In order to observe my own fear I must accept the fact I am afraid.

I catch my breath.

What will people think of me.

A click that will alter my life.

The resignation letter was composed and ready to send, just one click.
For a few hours I kept coming back to it,
knowing that tomorrow would be a different day.
I could not do it and I berated myself.
Today, 5 days later, I think that the fear I have is
trying to teach me. Its not a leap of faith if there is
no leap.

The future is here now.

It was Vijayesh.

A fellow worker (much younger) asked me how long I had been working in this field. After a quick count on my fingers I said 30 years. He looked at me and said "Thats a long time".

Engagement ring

The ring was bought with a loan from my Mom of $400. I think it was in 1977 or 1978, the purchase that is, the stone in the ring was vastly older.

Jocelyn and I were 100% into the whole thing.
I felt I had discovered the secret of being an adult.
With that love,we brought into this universe 2 men
who now can contemplate that very same universe. Atoms
thinking about atoms.

I was right, its more than a ring, a good hourcrux that is now handed down to the next generation. Jocelyn and I are lucky beyond words. We were just a little off on our expectations of how long something lasts that close to an event horizon.

No really, How?

Christmas comes every 3 months now. How do you slow this thing down?

SaturdayJune 13th 2015

6:00 pm
In Dad's kitchen I ask "Did we just get beat up by a 75 year old?"
He answer "Yes, I think we did."

4:50pm
The nurse says "Samira's eyes look different."
Samira makes a mocking face at the nurse.
We agree. Dad says she looks like she does recognize us.

4:35 pm
Dad says "I'll need to talk to the nurse in charge when we go in before supper."
I say "Maybe we should go in now?"
Dad says "Yes"

4:30 pm
On the outside porch overlooking the river.
Samira gets my beard in an iron grip so hard I have to grab her wrist and pry open her hand.
Samira grabs the flesh of Dad's forearms and scratches and he has to pull away.
Samira wacks my Dad in the head.
Samira snarls and pushes our hands away.

4:10pm
While waiting for the nurses aids to get Samira up we sit by her bed.
Samira looks back and forth and gently rubs Dads head
and enjoys the chocolates he brings her.

3:45 pm
On the way over to visit Samira Dad say how Samira has been doing better,
showing interest in the conversations going on around and with her, at times answering questions with a yes or no.

St. Pats cemetery 2014

October out the window in Ayer

Sweet booking jeebus !

Richard and Sampson welcome a lucky man.

The yanks at Chickamauga @ Fort Oglethorpe in Georgia!

Pop and Alex outside Chattanooga!

Waning gibbous at 108 East Main Apt # 11

Best nap is a beach nap at Salisbury Steak Park .)

Now hey you, mister, can't you read?

"Sign, sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out scenery, breaking my mind
do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign? " Five Man Electrical Band

Ayer rail station in the morning

Weather is here, wish you were fine.

Going from not being naked and famous
to being
naked or famous on the
first of September.

Who wouldn't be angry

The condo board of the building
where I rent
decided to disconnect the washer and dryer
to drive one of the other tenants from the
building.
It was a huge inconvenience to me and
I wrote an email to the landlord that
simmered with self righteousness.
I gather up my 2 loads of laundry and headed
stiff necked to the 24 hour Bubble It laundromat in town.
I had access to multiple washer and dryers so my
two loads were done within an hour and
while rereading Cats Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
time to just skipped by.
Yup, worked out just fine.

Great apes at Salisbury State Beach

Reintroduced to bum knuckles.

Move a muscle,
change a thought.
When in doubt,
push a pawn.
Nashua River Trail
biked me.)

Things I touch on the walk to and from work.

This is in the order into work.

2 wooden railings.
Cedar tree.
Bent guardrail.
Snow pole on a fire hydrant.
Tree stump.

On the way home reverse the order but add brushing my hand over a pine tree's needles after passing the wood railings.

Holy shit, Voyager 2 Encounters Triton

Smooch!

Another post at Kendal Green stop. I think we have ourselves an old fashioned curmudgeon.

Smile!

Chicks, go figure.

Some B and E might lead to some T and A.

August 2014, Pop dishes the good stuff.

On the way home.

A house was getting a new drive way
And that day they had removed the old driveway
down to the dirt right out to the road including part of the sidewalk.
A kid about 5 or 6 gets out of a car that just pulled into the driveway and runs to the edge at the road and exclaims "O my God, they cut the sidewalk. " slight pause "I loved that sidewalk. "

I am the Tardis

People and books.  Bigger on the inside.

Engineer was yanking my chain.

While walking I waited while the train crawled to a stop and then reversed direction 5 times here at the crossing at Groton-Havard Road. Eventually I reversed direction and crossed at the Sandy Pond Road crossing. But see that little ladder of 2 or 3 rungs between the cars? I think I could have made it.

The absurdity

A great song (Born to be Wild) blasting on my headphones
as I stand and gaze over the cubicle farm.
I have to laugh.

Waiting for Dad and uncle Than at Shaws

I'll bend over for that.

Found a dollar bill on the ground this morning.
Good luck proving it hasn't been in my
pocket the whole time.

A lesson in the laundry room from Marjorie

Marjorie asked which apartment I was in
and I responded 11.
She asked how I was liking it and I said
it was nice and I liked overlooking the pond.
Marjorie responded "When its not smelling like vinegar."
I back pedaled a little bit and said that I still liked
the sound of the trains.
Marjorie said "You will get used to it just like she
got used to the traffic noise out front."

Big time

The thing that I do which makes me decent at my job
of establishing patterns based a limited amounts of data
I also have used to conflate a single event to represent
the inevitability of all future interactions with 3 and one half billion.
OK Righteous Anger, come in and have a seat.
What can I get you?
An ashtray?
A coaster?
Put your feet up and lets talk.

Maybe

As we evolved from sea slugs our thoughts evolved from something deeper.

Posted at the Kendal Green train station.

The exit door is a mystery.

Turns out the conductor's are not quite sure either which train door will be used to exit the train. Seems to be up to the engineer and he keeps it a secret.

Much faster

I would dry off much faster if I could take my pants off
but this office is so uptight that
I don't even dare ask.)

Soaked walking to work.

Just found a small electric heater under Steve Berke's desk.
Using it to dry my shoes and keep my feet warm!
Is there no problem technology can't solve. 
Suck it monkeys .)

Women a sleep on bench

At Kendall Green station there are 2 benches
end to end. On Wednesday night when I got
there on the way home there was a young women
fast asleep on one of the benches. She was on her
back, her phone balanced on her stomach. She was lightly
snoring. I sat on the other bench next to her and
started to read a book while waiting for the train.
In a few minutes her phone rang and she woke up
with a start, grabbed her phone, and looked around her.
When she saw me she gave out a yelp, jumped to her
feet and dropped her phone.
She clutched her chest, took a deep breath and apologized
saying she gets spooked when people sneak up
on her.
The train came a few minutes later and she did not
get on.

A women on foot

While walking to the train
she approached and asked
"Sir, can you tell me the way
to the Federal prison at Ft, Devens?"
I said I thought it was a couple of miles
away so a bit of a walk, she shrugged.
I said I had never been there (pun?)
but there was a sign pointing to Ft Devens
at the rotary not to far away.
Its about 6 hours later now and I can
not help wondering what happened.

Woman and a bear.

While walking on Sandy Beach road at about 7:30 pm
on a Sunday night, coming in the opposite direction on the
other side of the road is a little old woman. She sees me and makes her
way over to my side of the road, some drivers politely stopping
to let her by, and tells me about the bear that was spotted
on this road this very morning while she was out for a walk.
In the story a man stopped his car and offered to drive her
safely home but she said no because she did not know who he was.
So he drove slowly along the road so she could walk by the car
till she was home. I asked her how big the bear was and she held
her arms out wide, just like how you would give someone a bear hug.

Mooched!

Supper at Pops on 7/19/2014.

One day, two bird stories

Out of the window on the right side I saw, as the train passed over the Concord river , 5 to 6 Canadian geese emerge from under the trestle below me, the 2 in front already slicing the water, the others with wings
cupped hard doing a stall before hitting the water.

Walking past the coop on Lexington road I could not see any chickens. I said out loud "Sleeping in late this morning , lady's!" which gave my brain permission to stop looking for the chickens and see where they were, scratching in the shadows under some bushes.

Tale of Two Poop Shutes

The much older with barely a sigh,
the much younger with a grunt and a cry.)

Not sure why I like this

A sentence from a book I am reading:

"The boat leaned into the waves under the weight of the wind." - Ted Kosmatka

Seen at work

That's Tom dominating the cone of shame!

Thirty Than years

30 years ago today as I held you in my hands for the first time

A stew of subatomic particles bounced and passed through us

to continue traveling on to 45 other stars by now.

Now that’s a 30 year mission. You have explored new worlds,

Sought out new life and civilizations and boldly gone where no Wood has gone before.

May the next year bring you dirt under your fingernails,

Adventure for your mind

and a song in your heart.

Love

Dad

P.S. "Than is older now than I am in this picture, sweet jeebus."

Think back, look forward.

"Enough of the preamble, now for the amble. "-Cecil

All the jingoism left me jangled.

"Time is a great teacher, unfortunately it kills all its students. " -Hector Berlioz

Pop, Me, Jenna, Than, Izzy, Marcy and Samira.

Saturday night and not to shabby.

Dr. Who to binge on, blazing chicken wheat wraps, grandson fast asleep upstairs.

Good to be an old guy

At 57 can be mind blown at a 931 gigabyte portable hard drive.

Hey, somethings

1)Walk so it shows on a map.
2)Driving to and grok national parks.
3)Read,Read,Read
4)Correspondence with people.
5)Eat well and frugally.
6)Don't self censor this damn list.
7) Do something to benefit folks.
*************************
1) Work with people I care about.
2)Work more with my body.
3)Help someone.
4)WOOF
5) Dentist while still working.
6) Prescription sunglasses.

A little trippy

I feel there is this chord that runs from my head to my feet
and at vibrates at this very low octave
and at times, just sometimes, it responds in sympathy to an ineffable
universe.

Sunday morning.

Heating up crepes and turkey sausage in the beast. Sipping hot coffee and listening to the radio. Siting alone, am I lonely? A blend of the two. No going back, one step forward at a time and acceptance of what is.

Campsites 21, A, B,C and D - the Pines.

Site A - woman and a man driving a Honda CRV with 2 kayaks on top. A black dog, short haired, medium sized, tail curled up over her back. Her front 2 paws where white like she was wearing socks.

Site B,C and D - a group of seven friends, looked like mostly in their twenties. A Ford Focus, Jeep Cherokee and a Honda Civic Coupe. Lots of bikes. They had a dog, Charlie, who looked like darker brown Weimaraner on the small side (maybe still growing). When off their leashes the two dogs would chase each other like crazy. On Saturday night they all sang happy birthday. They mostly wore LED head lamps and at night it was so dark that all you could see was the lights bobbing around, like disembodied light creatures.

The profoundness of the ordinary

One day last week I stopped myself right in the midst of meditating. I could not do it any longer. Today I learned that if I accept my inability to meditate without judgement, then that is the essence of meditating.
Holy bodhi tree Batman.

Sunday morning.

Thursday and Sunday the campground is empty except for the sound of birds, wind in the trees and the slight snick of White Pine needles falling to the ground. Nice place for a hot cup of Ethiopian coffee and a book.

What does this mean?

It took 4 days to shake off a 3 day work week.

Can't quit my day job.

At check in the ranger asked if I had a particular site in mind. I said that there was this short dirt spur road, sites numbered twenty something,  that looked nice. He looked on the computer and after a bit called the other ranger over and said to him "Can we give him 21? ". The second ranger gave me a quick look and said yes. First ranger said to me that this a special site, not even on the maps, reserved for the camp host however they had already left for the season. "In the future you can't request this site ." I said great and did this make me a State employee?  He looked over the top of his glasses and said "No " and after a pause "That's not something you would brag about anyway."

Me and Ricky. October 5,2013

Email from 5 years ago

From: Richard Wood
Subject: The big day cometh
To: mariefinigan@yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 12:34 PM

Hi Claire, The wedding rapidly approaching and I am looking forward to seeing you. I was reviewing the logistical plans that Michelle has drawn up and I wanted to make sure that you knew that Ricky wants to have his picture taken with you and my brother Chris before the wedding at the church at 4:45 (1/2 hour before thew actual wedding starts). If that doesn't work let me know and we can make other plans. Ricky had his bachelor party last Saturday. It was at a cigar bar. I still can get a wiff of cigars when I get in my car. It was great to see him very excited about the wedding with Than and many of his friends. There is a bitter sweet element for me to all this. I wish my Mom were here to see this, as I bet you wish Bert were here as well. I also wish I was experiencing this holding my wife's hand. That's the bitter part. The sweet part is I know I was raised by a woman who loved me, married to a woman I loved deeply and am very lucky to have 2 great boys and a family of love to surround me. I am so looking to give you a big hug Saturday, Love Rick

Venti half decaf, half dark roast.

Earlier in the day I sat on the grass outside a Starbucks with six other people.
We had all entered the store,
chose what we wanted,
paid in a variety of ways.

Later, on the second floor,
however its not that way.
These women and men, seated around tables waiting to be fed,
caretakers moving from table to table bringing food to their mouths.

Rainy morning camping

While I was at the water faucet filling my coffee pot
a six year old rode her bike over to check out what I
was doing. I said "Hey, know what happens when you ride your bike in the rain?"
to which she shook her head no. "You get wet." She laughed and said
she didn't mind because she had plenty of dry clothes to put on.
She then told me her dad had said he wished he had a pop up camper like mine
when it rains and I replied it was pretty nice. She then told me one of the secrets of
 happiness. "You know what I like about camping in the rain?, I get to eat blueberry pancakes in the tent."

Amen sister.

Preen my feathers at dusk.

I took a bath with five ducks. As I cleaned the sand from between my toes in preparation for putting my socks on three of the ducks turned there heads backwards, shrugged their shoulders up and stood perfectly still on one leg. They held that pose for as long as I could see them as I walked back through the rapidly darkening woods towards  camp.

Walk around Big Cliff Pond

I had been walking counter clockwise around the pond when I came upon 3 kids. There was 13 and 7 year old girls and a 10 year old boy. The 10 year old said they had been abandoned by thier parents and pointing to 3 kayaks said the wind was blowing to hard to paddle away. The 7 year old was playing at the edge of the water and the 13 year old was stretched out in the equinox sun. The 10 year old then asked me what I knew about solar clocks. He pointed to a circle drawn in the sand with 4 sticks at the cardinal points with a shadow of one pointing to a stone which he said meant it was 12 noon. I asked if he wanted to verify the time with my phone to which the 13 year old, eyes still closed, said "Please God yes! " The phone said it was 11:01 am. After a moment he adjusted the 12 o'clock stick in anticipation of the shadow crossing the stone in an hour. As I started to walk away I said not to worry that they had plenty water to drink from the pond and anyway they might be better off without their parents. That made the 7 year old laugh.

Big and Little Cliff pond at Nickerson State Park.

September 9th, the expirement

I thought that the experiment took place within
the walls of an impervious reaction vessel.
Results showed the vessel was part of the experiment
which makes the Brownian tracks of the ever
continuing results speak with a different voice.
34 times doesn't mark failure,
it marks results that continue to amaze.

Down to my toes.

Approximately 13 pounds of star stuff
meets and holds my gaze. I am held in
the palm of the universe,
eons of evolution ringing
like a bell.

A gift

The exquisite simple act
of comforting a one month
old. Hold him, walk with him and
pat his back. He farts, the crying tapers off
and then he
settles back in against my chest.

X marks the spot.

Sitting cross legged on the floor
and in front of me is a cross of shadows
from the legs of the coffee table.
The overcast sky was causing the light to enter
both my North and South facing windows
pretty much the same.
That light had just leaped off a star
9 minutes earlier.

A mighty fine nap.

I was held in place as if at 100 Gees
but not pulled through to true sleep
time became meaningless and yet
it was blissful. The slow ascent after was equally
sweet. Like floating up through a long
dark tunnel until my eyes were able to open
and it was dusk outside.

Slow news day

Thinking of a thing is not the thing.

Danny boy

Heard this morning

Sometimes a change causes you to change.

At the alter

As a family we were sanctified

with the arrival of a new generation.
The vigil bringing us together
to bear witness.
Star stuff joining star stuff
to welcome to this world baby Wood.

Nathaniel's Facebook Entry upon the death of Tybee

Yesterday Jenna, Dubin and Myself lost the heart of our little pack to a terrible and sudden disease. Our little Tybee who we loved so much. Only 2 years old, but she lived every goddamn moment with joy and excitement and a sense of purpose that I've never seen in another creature. I don't know how I am going to deal without having her around, howling with me, leading me down paths but always checking that I was still with her. If you knew her, please just think about her today. Even at her worst she would try to play and greet us. Maybe we can all take a lesson from that.

Things fall apart, everything tends to decay
And so it takes a lot to combine atoms in such a way
That they resist the lure of that darkness
that lurks around the edges of every day
So I’m inviting you to join me in this fight
to go down to the river, and come up all three times
Hank Williams was right: no one gets out alive
All we can do is try to have a really good time
Resist the tide, stand in the water
That’s baptism, that’s making light
Electricity is proof that there can be
A little bit of light in all this darkness
So please don’t go so gently into that good night
Rage, rage, rage against the dying of the light
You know you got a voice, to talk with you can call your own!
So clear your throat, and start singing this song:
Resist the tide, stand in the water
That’s baptism, that’s making light
Electricity is proof that there can be light
It takes a lot of work, but oh baby, it’s worth it
-Cynthia Hopkins

Cell phones, who knew.

A morning call from Death Valley
to make me smile.

Fathers day 2013

Gifts beyond measure.
A hospital visit to join in receiving good pregnancy news.
Tears on the phone as a faithful dog's fate is wrestled with.
Don't get that in a Hallmark card.

I am a cairn

Yesterday I made a pilgrimage

without realizing it.

Standing next to Michelle as

Marcy and Jenna reached to

touch her stomach and the look

on their faces was a baptism. I stood

at the gate between this life

and beyond.

Baby shower.

Where does unease for a family event come from.
All around people rush to these with smiles
that are denied me until I am there.

5:30 am

This day is cool, green and wet.
This bed is delicious.
This morning begins.

Less eye chewing

"Podcast, a green smoothie of reading." -Than

Cull the herd

When Dubin snarls, snaps and growls
he is showing us his wolf light.

I know it when I see it.

In a cube with a standing desk

reading the office chair instruction card

is like porn.

Number one at thirty one

A son,
a man
a friend
a father to be
a love.

Crow

Don't get me wrong,
I like a song bird outside my window
in the morning however
it is the crow that speaks to me
with something to say.

Sampson looking between the banisters of the back porch.

Alveoli

Breathing
where
conscious and unconscious
meet.

Holy shit

On the night of April 14th, 2013
I held a device in my hand
that directed my eyes up into the
night sky to watch a space station
pass overhead.

A journey

'97 VW camper took me
back 30 years, welcomed into
a home filled with love, humor
and good soup.

Visitor at work.

A moment.

Her hand rubbed the folds of my jeans between thumb and forefinger,
brushed lightly two or three times over the picture
of onion scapes on my shirt
ran her fingers through my beard
and after a pause looked me in the eye
and smiled.

Number

The number 8 is no more to
the number 8 as a stick
figure is to a woman or a man.

Nerd-gasm

"Carbon is the slut of the periodic table." - Neil DeGrasse Tyson quoting Jon Stewart

King Holly slowly bends the knee to King Oak with a mutter under the breath "Just wait".

A line of conversation said to me
"How would you think it would
be living with your father?"
Opens a small door of reverse understanding
that my father has feeling towards
me as I have for my sons.

I enjoy driving in the snow
yet
I drive slower than many people.

This just in.

Prostate fine.
Doctor ruefully contemplates
career choice.

Allium sativum

Removed from a small bown paper bag,
last years garlic in march,
bulb dry and papery, two poles
slender elegant, flat and hairy.
Crushed with the flat of a knife
sticky, slippery , sharp, smooth white.