Photsynthicly challenged.

The rain brings
the green canopy leaning
over me as if to say
"You poor boy."

Dirty fingernails

Make me smile
in my hermetically
sealed workplace.

Why is now any different?

"Do you mind if I am a pain in the ass?"

Hey Slug

What is so attractive
about the damp asphalt?
There is plenty of wet dirt,
grass and plants
off to the side
where you emerge from.
Is it the lure of
the open road in scale
to our path to the stars?

Overheard Cell Phone Snippet

In the lobby of
Lexington Corporate Center
Building 1.
"It's not you Jack..It's not you Jack...
I am not trying to bust your nuts."

9 Wires

On a telephone pole
outside my bedroom
window,
some black,
some gray,
one orange
and there is someone
who knows which
each does
and
goes.

One small problem

From: Saggy McCratchet
Sent: Wed 5/12/2010 2:49 PM
To: Oswald SteeringWood
Subject: One small problem

There is just one small problem with my Subaru...its an 02 Malibu. Is
there a TSB for this?
Thanks
*********************************************
From: Oswald SteeringWood
Sent: Wed 5/12/2010 3:56 PM
To: Saggy McCratchet
Subject: One small problem
Sir,

I regret to inform you that there is a recall on your vehicle's turbo encabulator. Please bring it in for service immediately so we can replace the encabulator with the new revision. As a part of this service we will also check the dual calf-skin bi-valve exuders at no extra charge.

In the meantime, to help cope with your Subaru/Malibu, or Subalibu, I recommend a continuous regiment of anti-depressants and Metamucil.

I hope this helps.

Best,
Oswald SteeringWood

Black Squirrel

Cheer up,
It's not like you
have to carry a
fat sleeping
dwarf through
Mirkwood.

Weather

Jez: "Rain Wednesday,
Sun Thursday,
Rain both Friday and Saturday,
yuck."
Me: "Rain is good for the grass."
Jez: "Rain is good for us too."

Double Yella

New stripes on
Springs Road this
morning at 2:30.
Still no passing.

What are you going to do?

We are going to walk every day.
We are going to the gym.
We are going to continue taking yoga.
We are going to the beach for a picnic.
We are going to travel.
We are not going to be stuck
all day in front of the TV.

Dead Right of Way

The bicyclist entered
the cross walk expecting
the car to stop
(which it should)
and had to scream stop
as the car blew his
horn and swerved around her.

Really

To the guy cacking
for 20 minutes on
his cell phone while
walking behind me
on the bike path,
I am glad your mom has
kicked her drug
habit.

Color barrage

Blond women,
Wearing a peach shirt,
Blowing a pink gum bubble,
Walking a white dog,
on a red leash.

What a dork

"Why do you want to be a census taker?"
"Well, I have been a fan of the constitution
for a long time."

Show Offs

Do the conifers mind
the deciduous
shameless display
this time of year?
Do they mutter under
their breath
"You weren't looking
so good in February"

Women weeping on Loomis Street.

I asked if she was OK
and she said no.
I asked what the problem
was and after a long pause
she answered
"What would you do if your mother
died and your father abandoned
you in a group home?"
I tried to offer up positive
answers and options
but inside
I knew I would
probably be weeping
in the rain.

All nine holes.

Reporting in just
fine today. All doing
their jobs on
time and within
budget.

Bedford, hang on to your socks

Hydrant flushing tonight
between 8 and midnight.
Don't freak out
at the rusty water
in the toilet.

Cube mates ism's

"Mr. Happy...he's happy"
"How big do you think my teapot is?"
On seeing a shirt with an American Eagle on it -
"Is that a beer shirt?"
"Most people put data at the bottom of the pile,
not me, I put it at the top
right underneath reality."