This is how the world ends: not with a bang, but with a zookeeper, murmuring, "Oh, crap."

Inane nattering overheard at office:

Person 1 says "We will just keep plugging away"

Person 2 responds "That's all you can do"

Coughy McHacksalot used my computer today.
If I get sick I am staying
out a whole week!

Old sins are the best sins.

It is so weird to me
that time,
which is rigidly tied to the
speed of light
and mass
can be experienced so
differently one
day to the next.

First day this year
walking to work
without a coat.
Thanks Gaia!

Hundreds of those maple leaf helicopter
seeds have sprouted and taken root
in the courtyard of
Lexington Corporate Center
causing them to stand straight up
a couple of inches tall.

While bullshitting about my up coming vacation in New Mexico,
Narsi asked me if I was going to 4 corners.
I said no as that was north and everything else
I was doing was south.
He then said he always wanted to go there
and put one limb in each of the 4 states
and then mimed what he would look like.

ITEM: Derriere found repulsive.

Your butt is not touching the chair!

The electron shells of the atoms
in your chair
repulse the electron shells of the atoms
in your butt
causing a gap of
1.0 × 10^-10 meters
to exists between you and the chair.

Spring can not be far away
when the
winter dog turds
blossom.

"I don't want to be a buzz kill
guys but its time for my
meds and I want to go to bed"

A late winter snow covered the bike path
with a one or two inch 24 hour story.
Tracks showed people doing silly walks,
walking their dogs,
which side paths or yards they
entered and left.
Deer leaving their notched vee shaped
marks pointing in the direction they
were traveling.
All sorts of small animal prints
in different configurations.
A dog, either out of joy or necessity,
rolling and rubbing.

"I can get the answer
for you faster
if you don't stand there
looking
over my shoulder."

"OK I am walking away."

I've been dancing in a lesbian bar.
No I haven't.

I just heard my name
used
by a co-worker
in a lame
analogy.

I like to lay with my feet pointing east
so that before sleep
I can see where I am
going.

Overheard at the office
their voice taking on
a
lower
register

"Business rule my ass"

Morning sound inventory.

1) Coffee Maker clucking.
2) Refrigerator humming.
3) Aquarium gurgling.
4) Cars hissing.
5) Bus grumbling.
6) Planes buzzing.
7) Jaw popping (when I yawn).
8) Crows admonishing.
9) Unknown cheeping.
10) Baseboards clicking.

Like a northern grizzly bear
I have started to hibernate,
turning the heat way down,
going to bed early under
a pile of warm blankets,
finding my dreams
mixing in with my
waking contemplations.

In a shocking case of cubical comeuppance Abigail shows no respect for her elder and disguises my cube as the Boston Globe. This led to a vigorous fist shaking and rumination of what would have happened to this irksome whippersnapper back in my day.
The worst part was it took me 3 hours to free myself leading to my Ensure getting warm!